so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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