guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
