it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
