just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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