As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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