I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
