just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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