I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
