To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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