Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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