Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
