shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize