She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
