whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
