the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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