After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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