I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
