You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
it hurts more in the daytime
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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