the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i already hear my dad disowning me
I think I am morally bankrupt
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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