I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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