Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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