he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
