Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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