i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
