Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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