Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
