sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
