Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Randomize
