I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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