Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Randomize
