That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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