Kiss
Puke
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
