please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
