Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
