I CAN MOONWALK!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
