My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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