hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
