Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
