you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
