can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
