Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
