I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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