Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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