I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
