I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
