how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
