there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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