Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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