every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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