It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
