I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
