Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
